If you are preparing to return to work after Elternzeit, you may be facing a mix of emotions – perhaps you are feeling sad, anxious or uncertain but also excited. It can be a big transition, which may coincide with your child starting Kita as well.
In this article, we speak with career coach Sarah Mestiri about ways to navigate your return to work with confidence.
Sarah is a Career and Interview Coach. Sarah has been on a mission to support more women in unlocking their full potential since she had her first child a few years ago.With a background in tech, she guides career-changing women to tech, mid-career women in tech, and mothers returning to work after maternity. She helps them secure the right job so that they can experience more fulfillment, freedom, and satisfaction. Sarah does so with her company Thriving Career Moms.
Returning to work after parental leave can feel like a big transition. What are your tips to make the transition feel a bit less overwhelming?
My number one tip is to acknowledge that feeling of overwhelm, know that it’s ok to feel overwhelmed, and that you are not alone.
Every transition is difficult, and transitioning after going through a big life change, in this case, the addition of a new member to your family, comes with a lot of new challenges in your personal life.
Don’t be afraid to share your feelings and find someone close to you who could listen to your concerns about your return. It will help ease your stress about the transition back to work.
What are some practical tips for how to ease the transition back to work for parents returning from leave?
I would advise you to stay in touch with your team and manager during your parental leave, checking on your online communication channel, from time to time, if that feels right to you.
Then, as you prepare to get back to work, about 3 months before or so, join some company events if you can, to connect with your colleagues again. This helps not to feel isolated, and slowly immerse yourself again into the professional environment.
Additionally, plan to have a meeting with your manager about one or two months before your return, and talk about any important updates they’d like to share with you. Anticipate talking about your career goals when you return, and make them aware of any potential challenges that you may encounter in your first months.
Be vocal, honest, and proactive.
Know that your manager is here to support you, that’s part of their responsibility, and don’t suppose your manager knows what it’s like to be in your situation, even if they are a parent themselves. So help your manager help you.
How can parents prepare for the new work-life “balance” when returning to work?
Before going back to work, you can revisit your daily habits and your family system for house chores, childcare, and any other daily responsibilities, because they will certainly be impacted by your return to work.
Look at what you can improve, change, or delegate – still it can be different than you expected once you return.
That’s why I like to consider and advise my clients to consider any change in their habits/life systems as an experiment and embrace self-reflection, kindness to yourself, and communicate, communicate, communicate.
I would recommend the Atomic Habits book, communication miracles for couples, and the fair play book as resources to help in this area.
Many new parents struggle with confidence. They may feel like they missed out on new developments, new technology or other changes in their specific field of work. How can new parents return to work with confidence?
Indeed, I experienced that myself in my return to work after parental leave, so I can relate to it personally. Besides, that’s something I see very frequently in the women I support in my coaching program.
As I learned from my experience, I discovered that confidence comes from taking action, and that’s why I suggested a couple of actions to take during the leave itself in the above section.
Besides, it’s important to acknowledge the fact that parenthood enhances many of your skills as well. I challenge you to think about the gains you’ve made in terms of time management skills, the ability to work under stress, to communicate better, to empathize, to be agile, and so much more.
All these make you a better-qualified person because all businesses and all jobs need these skills.
Many new parents reduce their hours when they return to work after having a baby. What are some challenges that come with a part-time setup and how can new parents navigate this?
I was surprised actually to find out that returning part-time could have its challenges.
I would say, while it’s great that Germany offers this opportunity, give it some consideration before you decide, consider the reasons why you are doing it to be able to assess if it’s fulfilling those priorities once you try it, or if it's really doing the opposite.
A part-time set up may not always be the best – sometimes doing it full-time and having flexibility at certain times like Kita pickup, kids sickness, etc, might be better.
That’s because sometimes part-time can be hard to manage within the team, especially when the team is used to having everyone full-time and you’re the first one to go part-time.
In that case, to anticipate, discuss with your manager what type of projects you would be involved in, what projects you can’t be involved in and for what reason, create a plan for your hours' increase, and share it with you manager.
Otherwise, some parents end up working overtime while being paid for part-time, so be aware of that, and if it becomes the case, please talk to your manager and get your worth.
(If you’re interested in learning more about the legal perspective of returning to work after parental leave, you can refer to our interview with an employment law specialist.)
How can working parents respond to colleagues who may have a different attitude towards them as before parental leave?
I have to admit that’s a little bit tricky because usually those attitudes come from unintentional bias (meaning the person (colleague) might not be aware of it) and they might not admit it.
So, what I would recommend here is to take the initiative in organizing the project you have at hand and use it as an opportunity to demonstrate to them your ability to contribute the same value as before.
That’s the first step. Then, approach your manager and express your desire to take on the other type of projects, tell them you’re ready for it, and bring the facts through that project you were doing.
If they are still hesitant, ask them for example: “Help me understand, what’s worrying you about giving me this project so that I can address your concerns?” Express how excited you are about those projects and your desire to contribute in a bigger way to the company’s success and offer to evaluate throughout frequent 1-on-1 check-ins as needed.
Anything else you would like to share?
I would also like to tell any parent, mother, or father, going back to work soon and feeling stressed about it: Take it one step at a time. There is always a way, it’s going to be fine, and don’t forget to put your health first.
Thanks, Sarah!
