Considering how demanding and stressful parenting can be, it’s easy to see why the term "parental burnout" is becoming more common. After all, parenting is one of the toughest jobs out there!
In this article, Kietzee Guide Annie Xystouris explains the term parental burnout and recommends some strategies to those affected by it.
If you would rather watch a video on this topic, Annie recorded a 10-minute clip for you here.
Annie is a certified health coach for moms and Berlin-based mother of two daughters. Her personal turning point came after the birth of her second child, when she realized her need for control and perfectionism were overwhelming her. By recognizing this and developing the ability to let go of these needs, she transformed into a more balanced individual, better able to serve her family.
Now she has made it her mission to help moms prevent burnout and fill more calm and fulfilled lives.
What is Burnout?
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), burnout is seen as an occupational phenomenon, not a medical condition. Here’s how they describe it:
“Burn-out is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:
Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion
Increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job
Reduced professional efficacy”
What Parental Burnout Might Look Like for You
Now let’s see how we can apply this concept to parenting.
While burnout doesn’t look the same for everyone, Annie noticed some common signs from talking with other parents:
Waking up feeling drained, even though you do your best to push through.
Losing interest in anything outside of taking care of your kids, but not having the energy to do much else either.
Feeling disconnected from others because you haven’t had a good chat with another adult in what seems like forever.
Avoiding exercise because you just don’t have the energy for anything.
Snapping at your kids or partner more than you’d like.
Feeling frustrated, resentful, or just not quite like yourself.
Daydreaming about having a whole week to sleep in a quiet, empty house.
And then there’s the guilt—the guilt that comes with feeling anything other than grateful and happy when you’re constantly told you “have it all.”
What You Can Do About It
Unfortunately, support won’t come unless you ask for it. Society often expects moms to handle everything quietly, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
It’s okay to admit that parenting is hard and that we need help sometimes.
The first step is to check in with ourselves. On a scale from 1 to 10, where do you think you are right now? (10 being completely burned out, and 1 being your usual self.)
If you’re feeling like you’re at a 9 or 10, and these feelings are more of a constant than an occasional bad day, I would recommend you reach out to a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist.
If your number is an 8 or lower, someone like myself (a certified health and Positive Intelligence® coach) can help you feel more like yourself again. Together, we can:
Explore your mindset to understand why negative emotions such as stress, frustration and anger show up (and fester!) and what to do about them
Look at your lifestyle and find ways to support both your body and mind as you navigate daily challenges. This can touch many areas of your life such as your eating habits, your sleep, and more.
Parenting is a journey filled with both joy and challenges, and it's normal to feel overwhelmed at times. Remember, acknowledging your feelings is the first step toward finding balance. Parental burnout doesn't define you—it's just a sign that you need to care for yourself as much as you care for your loved ones.
After all, taking care of yourself is the best way to take care of your family.
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Thanks, Annie!
Learn more about Annie and her health coaching programs.
