Having and raising kids is a big adventure—exciting and overwhelming all at once, especially if you’re doing so in a country that is not your own.
If you’re raising kids in Germany, you’ve probably noticed that certain cultural norms and parenting practices stand out. Learning these can not only make your life easier but also help your family feel more at home.
Let’s dive into the key cultural insights that every international parent should know when living in Germany.
1. Punctuality: It’s a Big Deal
Germans are famous for their love of punctuality, and this applies to parenting life too. Whether it’s a doctor’s appointment, a school drop-off, or a playdate, being on time is seen as a sign of respect and reliability.
Even daycares (Kitas) often run on very precise schedules, so it’s worth syncing your watch to avoid unnecessary stress.
Pro Tip: Any parent knows how hard it can be to be on time with a baby or toddler in tow – Kietzee expert Dr. Marjorie Kinney recommends giving a time frame rather than a specific arrival time when meeting with friends, such as “I will be there between 12:00 and 12:30” And if you’re still running late, a quick heads-up message is always appreciated.
2. Understanding the World of Kitas and Kindergärten
Childcare and preschool are popular with most families in Germany. Kitas (daycare centers) and Kindergärten (preschools) are where kids not only learn and play but also adapt to German cultural values like sharing and independence.
Here are a few terms you’ll likely hear:
Eingewöhnung: The settling-in phase for new Kita attendees, done gradually with parental support.
Elternabend: A parents' evening or parent-teacher meeting commonly held in German schools and kindergartens. It serves as a forum for teachers and educators to share updates on the curriculum, upcoming projects, trips, and school or class policies, and more.
Mittagessen: Lunch—usually a well-balanced meal provided by the Kita, with accommodations for allergies or dietary restrictions if discussed early.
Pro Tip: Label everything—clothes, shoes, even water bottles. This will save you a lot of headaches!
3. Seasonal Magic: Festivities Kids Love
Germany’s seasonal celebrations are perfect for families. Participating in these traditions can help your kids feel included while giving you the chance to bond with your community. Some highlights include:
Nikolaus (6th December): Kids leave a shoe or boot out the night before for St. Nicholas to fill with treats.
Advent and Christmas Markets: These are a delight for all ages, featuring lights, crafts, and delicious food.
Karneval (February): A vibrant festival with costumes, parades, and candy—a hit with children and adults alike.
Pro Tip: Check local community boards or apps like nebenan.de to find family-friendly events in your area.
4. Respecting Quiet Hours
One of the biggest cultural adjustments for international families is Germany’s emphasis on Ruhezeiten (quiet hours). These are typically observed from 1-3 PM and after 10 PM, as well as all day on Sundays and holidays. Loud noises like vacuuming or even boisterous play can lead to frowns—or even a knock from the neighbors.
Pro Tip: Use quiet hours for indoor family activities like reading, puzzles, or crafts. It’s also a great excuse to slow down and enjoy some rest.
5. Making the Most of Germany’s Healthcare System
The German healthcare system can be a lifesaver for families, but it takes a bit of getting used to. Pediatricians are your go-to for all child-related health concerns, and you’ll be given a U-Heft (child health booklet) to track development milestones through regular check-ups.
Pro Tip: Appointments fill up quickly, so book in advance. If German medical terms are a challenge, consider bringing a translator app—or a German-speaking friend.
6. Building Your Parenting Community
Parenting can feel lonely, especially in a new country. Thankfully, Germany offers a variety of ways to meet other families and build connections:
Eltern-Kind Gruppen (parent-child groups): Join these to socialize with other parents and kids.
Online platforms like Vinted or Nebenan.de: Great for secondhand shopping and discovering nearby playgroups.
Expat-focused Facebook groups: Search for parenting groups specific to your city or region.
Pro Tip: Attend local events like school fairs or library story hours to connect with both international and local families.
7. Navigating the School System
When your child enters Grundschule (elementary school), you’ll notice a strong emphasis on parental involvement. Expect to encounter:
Klassenkasse: A class fund for trips or activities.
Volunteering: Parents often help with school events like Schulfeste (school fairs).
Homework support: Teachers count on parents to create a structured home environment for studies.
Pro Tip: Build a relationship with your child’s teacher to better understand their expectations and support your child’s learning journey.
8. Family-Friendly Benefits
Germany offers several perks for families, including:
Kindergeld: Monthly child benefits to help with expenses.
Elterngeld: Financial support during parental leave.
Childcare allowance: Keep your receipts for babysitters, Kita costs or school fees.
Visit your local Familienkasse (Family Office) or consult your tax advisor to maximize these.
Moving to Germany as a family can be both a challenge and a gift. By understanding these cultural norms and connecting with your local community, you can turn this chapter into a rewarding experience for you and your children. Take it one step at a time, and soon enough, you’ll feel right at home.
Viel Erfolg und alles Gute—good luck and all the best on your parenting journey in Germany!
References
For additional support, check out these reliable resources:
Make It In Germany: Official government portal for expats.
Handbook Germany: Comprehensive newcomer guide.
Familienportal: All about family benefits and support in Germany.
Kietzee: Tailored articles, events, and guides for international parents.
